Call it a pre-midlife crisis, but I feel as though time is running out. At the ripe old age of 21, I am realizing there's so much life I want to live, so much more I want to experience, but I am crippled by my ties to an institution.
I often feel bogged down by the stage of life I'm in, like I'm trapped in an hour glass and drowning in an overflow of sand. My days are planned out by the hour: juggling classes, homework, meetings, jobs, church, friends. I'm lost in the chaos of what's written between two lines. In the midst of my stretched schedule, I seek God for endurance, patience, and guidance, but so often I forget to be still. I forget to give him praise for who He is. I forget to live intentionally.
This year, the one thing I resolve is this:
---
BE STILL
AND KNOW THAT
I AM GOD.
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PSALM 46:10
I drove over train tracks the other day, and the voice of my driver's ed instructor came flooding back to me, "Stop, look, and listen. Proceed with caution."
New year--New tracks--New steps
STEP 1: Stop
God has me in this season of life for reasons beyond my comprehension. I'm not yet ready for what my heart desires, so in this season is where I will stay. God is the Author of time, and I will treasure the time He gives me with the people and places He sends me.
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word, I put my hope."
--Psalm 130:5
STEP 2: Look
I want to recognize God in all things-- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I know He is always working in and around us, but how often do I really take the time to watch Him work? He is "familiar with all my ways" (Psalm 139:3) and knows every hair on my head (Luke 12:7). I long to know Him so intimately. To do so, I must know Christ more intimately.
"The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation."
--Colossians 1:15
STEP 3: Listen
My friend, Zach, once told me about "soaking". He explained it as coming into the presence of God, then getting lost in His glory. I want to do that. I want to do more than simply seek God, I want to meet Him in the silence. I want to sit with Him under a blanket of stars. I want to breathe Him in with the cold morning air. I want to be found by Him wherever I wander. God alone desires my broken and sinful heart. He longs to spend quality time with me. He delights in my dreams and ambitions. He hears me when I cry out in pain, joy, anger, and humiliation. I pray I can learn to quiet my soul so I may hear what He has to say.
"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things that you do not know."
--Jeremiah 33:3
One resolution
Three simple steps
I know I will stumble. I know I will fall.
But like the apostle Paul, "forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14).
2013, you will certainly leave swiftly.
I refuse to be left behind.
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